Before He Could Ask

before he could ask

May 12, 2025

I wanna know what his life is gonna become.  
Because I want to be here for it.  
Because I want to be healthy.  
Because I didn’t grow up imagining this,  
but now I can’t imagine not.  

Every day, I study him  
like I’m preparing for the biggest test of my life.  
And I am.  

I see his fingers trace the grain in the floorboards.  

He giggles when he touches a new texture for the first time.  
I see how he looks at the world —  
like it owes him nothing.  
Because he just shows up —  
curious, unafraid, ready.  

I take pictures so I don’t forget.  
But also because one day, he’ll ask:  
“Who was I, before I could ask?”  
And I’ll have something to show him.  

Not a highlight reel. Not a curated feed.  
Just the light that hit his face at 7:42am  
when he found his own reflection funny.  

You don’t get to choose what their life becomes.  
But you do get to witness it.  
And if you’re lucky —  
you get to stay.  

(And if you're really lucky, you get to nap.)